Sleepless nights, a level of stress I've never experienced before, and countless hours spent lesson planning have been validated by my successful completion of two weeks of summer school. I'm only eleven lessons in, but already I feel like my teaching is worlds better than what it was on my first day. I no longer have a problem standing in front of a classroom, and putting together my lesson plans has gone from taking five hours to taking only about two or three.
Despite all the improvement and the daily boosts in confidence, it's still way harder than I ever would have expected. As first years, we are told time and time again, "All of you have gone your whole lives without trying very hard or failing, but teacher corps will change that." I wouldn't exactly say I'm struggling, at least not yet, but I'm completely in awe of how much time goes into teaching.
College was easy. I knew I would do well, so I never put a whole lot of effort into school work or studying. Any challenge I have ever been presented with has either been time consuming or difficult. Sometimes a task is challenging because you have to keep on trucking despite lengthy stretches of monotony; other times a task is challenging because it requires superb problem solving skills and creativity. Teacher corps though is the only challenge I've ever come across that involves both a huge time commitment and higher level thinking. I spend hours each night writing lesson plans. I try to come up with creative ways to present my subject, but more often than not, I fail at it. There's no arguing it, teacher corps is hard, harder than anything else I've done before.
The first two weeks of summer school have been filled with accomplishments and improvements, but also frustration. It's frustrating to spend so much time on something and still end up disappointed with it. I'm getting better though, and as long as I remember that, it's not difficult to stay motivated. As for avoiding exhaustion, that's impossible.
Paul, I can relate to a sense of wonderment that as exhausted and frustrated as I seem to constantly feel at the end of the day its not hard to stay motivated. There is a special urgency to having to face 32 kids in the morning - a deadline unlike anything in academia - its real and I relish that and I want to learn to be good at this.
ReplyDeleteI agree! I'm reminded of something said to Alexander the Great by his tutor: "for traveling through the country, there are royal roads and roads for commoners; but in [mathematics] there is only one road for all." There is no quick OR easy way to be a great teacher - it's a process of learning and growth that will be both long AND difficult. From what I've seen in the classroom, though, you appear to be well on your way!
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