Evidence of a need for improvement

Ann Monroe Assignment: Videotape a lesson within the first two weeks of summer school and write a reaction.

I'm the kind of guy that hates to watch videos of myself from my childhood. My girlfriend would argue otherwise, but I find them anything but adorable; in fact, I find them downright embarrassing. Those feelings are made so much worse when you can't chalk it up to being too young to know any better. While watching a video of one of my earlier lessons, incredible teacher was not the first thought that popped into my head.

The video showed me just how deceptive improvement can be. I know I've come along way from the teacher I was when I first stood in front of a classroom and taught about experimental design. I'm much more confident and I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on what I'm doing, but the video showed me that I definitely have a long way to go. The deception is perpetuated by everyone who observes me, telling me that I'm good or that I've improved by so much. Maybe they're just being nice or maybe they just don't notice because they're not me, but the video showed me a lot. 

I move around the room much quicker than I'd like to, and when I say the wrong thing, I get way more flustered than I should ever really be letting on. I fidget with my clip board too much, but I'm not confident enough yet to give it up entirely; I have no idea what I'd do with my hands if I didn't have a clip board to play with. Most disconcerting is the lack of authority in my voice. My speech is notably more confident than it once was, but it still lacks the authority necessary to truly take center stage in a classroom.

I found watching the video of myself to be a pretty painful experience, but at the same time, it proved to be an excellent tool towards my eventual improvement. I, like many others, am my own harshest critic, so having had the opportunity to see and scrutinize my own teaching can only lead to shaming myself into getting better. I'm all about improving by any means necessary, and this is just one more technique in the arsenal to get me to be the teacher I'd like to be.

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